It's Valentine's Day and I'm here sitting around and watching some reruns of Grey's Anatomy on TV. I keep thinking to myself, what is the meaning behind the word "person" as used by Meredith and Cristina. It's not being a best friend, it's not being a sister, but it's always being a "person". And this led me to thinking "What is a person?" and "Do I have my person?"
I have never been the very social person like my friends were. I have never been open to anyone about myself, who I am and who I want to be. I'm always guarded, easily trusting people but never really fully trusting anyone. I never attach myself to anyone completely because I have been burned before.
Back in high school, I may have not been the best student but I was one of the best, and I had friends, or so I thought. We were a close knit, sitting through lunches together, doing after school activities together and even studying together. Then the inevitable came and people kept choosing me over them for local and international competitions (yes, I was a nerd) and started getting envious. And they started treating me like shit and started ignoring me like I had some sort of disease (which I did but was non-communicable and non-infectious). They spread rumors and a lot of people hated me for it. During senior year, I was alone, i still had some friends but I've never felt so alone in my life. I never told most them about my cardiac surgery, and I was half expecting that none of them would come. But, some people did and that was what made me realize that I wasn't completely alone. I had a few people. I haven't talked to them in a while but I am glad I had them back then and I know that they will have a special place in my heart as my person.
College was the time I knew I was making real friends. People in college tend to have a higher maturity in the way they think. College is where I met my best friends, the people I can truly call as my person. There are a few of them but there is someone who really stands out. She doesn't judge me for anything and she is there when I need her.We never really talk much but in time of need, we are there for each other. We have misunderstandings, we have differences, we have fights, we have arguments and we sometimes don't apologize. It doesn't really matter because it bonds us greater. She tells me things and I tell her things and we have secrets that only each of us know. I'm always there for her when a relationship turns crap and she's talks me through the absence of a relationship. We are there for each other.
Through the years, I met people and that person list increases by a number or two. And even then, my college best friend will still be my number one person.
She's my person, even if I'm not hers. She'll always be my person and I'll love her to the end.
Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!
xoxo @thejanraphaelbc
P.S.
Do you thing you're a part of my person list? :)
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